


something to last for all time

by myeyesarenotblue



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Domestic, Gen, Pre-Canon, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 23:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17970017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myeyesarenotblue/pseuds/myeyesarenotblue
Summary: How come they don’t have names? Four wants a name.





	something to last for all time

**Author's Note:**

> this is so dumb oh my god

Four’s distractedly brushing through his sister’s hair. It always knots up after Dad makes them train and Three jumps around too much, which- it happens almost every single time. _God_ , Four would go crazy training day after day if it Three didn’t let him hang out with her afterwards.  

“Be careful, Four, you’re going to pull my hair out” Three complains, after a particularly large knot that he wasn’t very gentle for.  

“Sorry!” he quickly apologizes.

But his attention isn’t fully on her hair, anyways. It’s on the _magazine_ that she’s reading. It’s open on a random article about- shoes or something, and it’s probably very interesting, and four plans on stealing Three’s magazine later and reading it, but that’s not what caught his attention. It’s hidden on a corner of the page, and Three’s thumb is covering half of it, but- Four can read it clearly:

_Top Ten Celebrity Baby Names of 1997!!!_

It’s a simple list, it announces last year’s famous births with an annoying font and bright colors. Four doesn’t even know why he bothers reading it. They’re not particularly exciting or exotic names either, they’re just normal names, names he hears on tv all the time. _Cody, Jason, Amelia, Rick-_ Three’s thumb won’t let him read any further. But it’s all he needs to get the idea on his head, really.  

How come they don’t have names? Four wants a name.  

“Hey, you know how you always say you want to be famous?” Four asks carefully.

“Yeah?” Three replies.  

“How are you gonna be famous if you don’t have a name?”  

“I have a name” Three says, but she puts her magazine down and turns around to look at him.  

“Yeah, I know, but- I meant a real one, like the famous people in your-” Four gestures wildly with the brush he’s holding to Three’s magazine.  

Three frowns. “How come we don’t have names?”

 

☂☂☂

 

Three tells him to drop it, because if Dad never named them when they were babies and he was supposed to, why would he do it now? And maybe she’s got a point, but- no matter how much she tries to convince him, Four won’t ever believe that _Three Hargreeves_ sounds like the name of a fancy movie star. It’s sounds dumb. Four wouldn’t watch Three Hargreeves’ movies.  

So he doesn’t drop it.  

They’re standing next to their chairs in the dining room’s big table, waiting for Dad to show up so they can finally eat, when Four decides the only way to truly get Dad’s attention is interrupting dinner. It’s risky, but he thinks it’ll probably be worth it.  

Three looks at him pointedly when Dad shows up and gives them permission to sit. It’s like she knows exactly what he’s thinking, and it freaks Four out a little bit because maybe she does, so Four decides to do the smart thing and look elsewhere to pretend no one warned him.

“Dad?” Four says after he’s absolutely sure they’ve heard today’s vinyl at least fifteen times. It’s about- climbing? The voice is way too monotone to understand anything it’s saying, Dad won’t miss anything too interesting.

“Number Four! No taking during mealtimes!” Dad says, without looking up from his plate.  

“Why didn’t you name us?” Four asks instead of shutting up. He doesn’t ask for a name straight away, he would, really, but if dad chose numbers instead of literally any name- Four needs to ease him into the idea.  

“Why didn’t I name you?” Dad repeats, loudly, mockingly. He scowls and puts his drink down forcibly, splashing drops of wine everywhere.  

Four freezes. He looks around to his siblings and realizes everyone stopped eating, they’re all looking at Dad with that slightly terrified expression that Four’s sure he’s sporting himself. He should have _known_ \-  

“Names are trivial, they’re distractions, _liabilities!_ You don’t need names to perfect your ability, and you’d knew that if you ever used yours, number Four!”  

Three was right.

 

☂☂☂

 

Even if Four was kind of expecting Dad to be a jerk about it, he can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Four doesn’t think having a name is a liability, that’s just stupid. Dad has name, Mom too, and Pogo.  

“You’re still upset?” Three asks, she’s carrying over the magazine they were reading earlier and the sight of it makes Four kind of angry.  

“Dad’s an ass” he says, when Three sits next to him.  

She hits him with the magazine. “Don’t call him that”

“But he is” Four pouts obnoxiously, because it always makes Three laugh.  

“Maybe, but if he hears you, he’s gonna be pissed” Three says, and she’s laughing.  

“He’s already pissed” Four says.  

Three huffs. “You need to let it go, Four. We already have names and- they’re not like the ones on Hollywood but that’ll make us unique. I’m going to get all the roles in movies that I want just because of my name.” she says, and Four loves his sister way too much to tell her that’s probably not how Hollywood works. And besides- she doesn’t seem very convinced. “Anyways,” she continues. “Look at this, it’d look beautiful on you”  

Three opens the magazine and shoves it in Four’s face. He grabs it- it’s a picture that covers half a page, of a girl posing for a red carpet of some awards or something, and she’s wearing a pretty, long dress. Four considers it. It’s a green dress, and green’s never been his favorite color, but it’s a _nice_ dress. Fancy.  

He hums. “It’s pretty”

“Pretty?” Three replies, like it’s an insult “It’s not just pretty, it’s _ravishing”_ she says, and Four’s not sure she even knows what ravishing means. He doesn’t.

“Yeah, well, it’s _ravishing,_ but I don’t know if I’d wear it”

“Four! How can you say that?”  

(And that’s what he loves the most about his sister.  

Once, Four decided he’d look amazing on a skirt and the most obvious way to test his theory was to sneak into Three’s room while she was distracted and try on her clothes. They didn’t have anything but their uniforms back then, so Four ended up standing in front of her mirror while wearing a plaid skirt. She walked in on him.

Four’s heart stopped in his chest and he was so afraid she was going to hate him but then-  

“You and I are going to have so much fun”)

Three goes through all the pictures of dresses she finds on her magazine, and looks insanely offended whenever Four’s opinions are different than hers, and Four _loves_ it. None of his siblings ever want to do stuff like this, not even Seven, and Four would go crazy if he didn’t have Three’s questionable advice on dresses.  

So they laugh and they argue about silly things and when someone calls Three away and Four is left alone, he tries to keep looking at pretty dresses. But he ends up going back to the page on the magazine about baby names. He can’t help it. 

He stares at the names for a long time, longer than he should, anyways, knowing that he’s never going to have one. Not if Dad can help it, apparently, because names are _liabilities._ Four sometimes wonders if other parents, in other families, say things like that. They probably don’t.

He turns the page, ready to distract himself looking for the perfect dress for Three when something catches his eye:

_Test: Can you keep a secret?_

Four loves secrets.

 

☂☂☂

 

“Everyone shut up and promise you can keep a secret!” Four yells loudly to be heard amongst his siblings’ chatter. He asked them to meet him in the one place no one goes near after breakfast, at least until the next meal: the kitchen.  

They all look at him curiously and maybe a little judgy, but at least they quiet down. Three gives him a disapproving look. “Well?”  

“Why?” One asks, narrowing his eyes.  

“Because I have a proposition” Four replies, and grabs Three’s magazine. “But I need you guys to promise”

“Is this about yesterday? Because Dad said no, and he looked angry” Seven says.  

Four groans. “ _I know,_ ” he says, dragging the _o_. Dad definitely looked angry, and he’d probably be angrier if he knew what Four was up to. But he doesn’t have to know. “That’s why you need to promise” Three giggles and takes the magazine from him. Rude.  

“Four” says Five, grabbing his shoulder and looking at him with a disapproving look that makes Four kind of nervous “You’re an idiot, names are dumb”  

“Names aren’t dumb” says Six, frowning, and that’s why Four likes him better than Five “I want a name too”  

“Finally, someone with common sense” Four says, and pats Six’s head.  

“Why on earth do you even want a different name for?” Five asks, glaring.  

“Why don’t _you_ want name?” Four shots back. He doesn’t have good answer. Names just seem like something everyone else but them have and Four wants to be like everyone else. Even the- the _ghosts_ have names.  

Six snorts. “Well, _I_ want one because last week I tried to get a library card and they thought I was lying when I said my name was Six. I want more books” Nerd.  

“You’re both idiots” Five says.  

“What do you say?” Four asks, choosing to ignore Five’s insults and looking around to the rest of his siblings instead. “Do any of you want names?”  

“It could be fun” Two says slowly, and Four knows he’s thought about it as well.

“Yeah, why not?” Seven says.

Four knows Three wants a name too, even if she doesn’t admit it, so aside from the most boring kid on earth- Five, he only has to convince One.  

“One?” Four says, batting his eyelashes and pouting. “Do you want to join the fun?”

“Uh,” One starts, and then looks at Three. They share a funny look- and Four decides to pretend he never saw it, just like he always does. “Yeah, sure, I want one too” he finally says.  

That’s _awesome_. “Great!” Four yells “It’s settled! We’re getting names”  

“You’re all idiots” Five says, and then promptly disappears in a cloud of blue light. What a _buzzkill_.  

“Wow, he’s annoying” Two says and then he yelps when Seven elbows him on the ribs.  

Four ignores them.  

He’s way too excited about this. He takes the magazine back from Three’s hands and opens it in the page that started this whole thing. He reads it again:  

_Top Ten Celebrity Baby Names of 1997!!!_

“These are our new names” Four announces proudly, putting the magazine down on the table where everyone can see it. The names are numbered from one to ten and Four figures that makes things easier for his siblings and him. “Your number, your name” he explains.  

He watches as they all crowd around the magazine and read, trying to find their new names. Is a foolproof plan, really, that way no one gets to actually _choose_ one. It’ll be as if Dad had named them when they were babies.  

“I’m not gonna be called Leslie!” Six yells out, and Four’s good mood drops. “That’s a girl’s name”  

“It’s your name now, _Leslie,_ you have to like it”  

“I think there are guys called Leslie, too” Seven says carefully “I saw one on tv”  

“See?” Four says.  

“Isn’t the lady on the news called Leslie?” One asks.  

“Shut up, One”

“Why do you get cool names and I get Leslie? I want another one” he says, and grabs the magazine from the table. “There, my new name is Harry” Six points to the bright letters announcing _10 – Harry._  

“That’s not fair!” Two says “I don’t like Jason either, it sounds like a rich and bratty kid”  

“You’re a rich and bratty kid” Four says, just because he’s right and he can say it.  

Two punches his shoulder. “If Six can choose from another number then I want to, too”

Two grabs the magazine from Six’s hands and Four jumps right in. He manages to hold one end of it. “No, don’t, people don’t choose their names, you can’t”  

“If Six can then so can I” Two says and pulls his end of the magazine. Four doesn’t let go.  

“Then Six can’t either” he says, pulling the magazine towards him, and he hears Six complaining again, _my name’s not gonna be Leslie._  

Three steps between them. “You’re gonna break my magazine, stop it!” she yells out, and Four feels kind of bad about it, but Two’s pulling even harder and Four’s never been a quitter.  

“Give it back!” Four yells at Two, instead of trying not to break his sister’s stuff.  

“No!” Two straight up screams, a little too loudly, honestly. Do any of them understand what a secret meeting is? Four’s siblings are idiots, except maybe for Three, Three’s nice.  

And two is going to _break_ her magazine.  

“Stop it!” Four says, and he tugs on the magazine while pushing his body backwards.  

It doesn’t work quite as well as Four wanted it to. Two never lets go of his end of the magazine and ends up tumbling forwards. It happens fast, so fast that Four can’t keep his balance and falls to the ground. Two goes down with him, and it would be fine if it weren’t for the loud and sharp noise that follows.  

Everyone gasps loudly.  

Two finally lets go of the magazine and Four would feel triumphant if it weren’t for the fact that there are pieces of glass all around him.   

 _“Shit”_ he says.  

“Oh my god, you idiots” Three says.  

He scrambles to get up while Two does the same. It’s a jar _._ It’s a pretty jar with little flowers painted everywhere that Mom never actually uses but always keeps clean and perfect and stares at on her free time. And they broke it. _Shit._  

“It’s your fault” Four tells Two, even though it was probably both of their fault.

Two looks at him with a frankly impressive amount of hatred and Four sighs. _Here comes the screaming_ , he thinks, because Two’s the one who’s always trying to please Mom the most.

“Children?” Mom’s voice asks from somewhere upstairs.  

“Shit” Two says. They’re _dead._  

“Don’t just stand there!” Seven says “Do something!”  

Four looks at her. Do what? Mom’s going to know and she’s going to be mad and heartbroken and- “Clean it up!” Six says, and he drops to his knees and starts picking up the larger pieces of the jar.  

Four can hear Mom’s heels clicking and he just _knows_ they’re going to get caught. “Too late” he sighs.  

“Four, for god’s sake” One says exasperatedly and he’s trying to clean up too.  

Mom walks through the kitchen’s entrance. She’s smiling, she’s always smiling. “Children?”  

Six and One stand up as quick as they can and they all stand in a line in front of the broken glass, trying to hide the mess that Two and Four made. Four doesn’t even know why they do it, she clearly saw them.  

Her smile falters. “Children? What happened here?”  

“It was Two and Four!” One blurts out. _Jesus_ , Four shouldn’t have invited him to his secret meeting.  

Mom looks at Two and him with that disappointed look of hers that makes Four want to kneel down and beg for forgiveness. He isn’t afraid, though. If it had been Dad that caught them, he’d be running for his life already.  

“I’m sorry, Mom, we didn’t mean too” Two says. “And it was Four’s fault anyways”  

“What-?” what’s wrong with his siblings? Do they all secretly hate him?

“Oh, children” Mom says, and the smile is back on her face. “I’m just glad you aren’t hurt”  

Four exhales. “You aren’t mad?”  

“Of course I’m not” she says, pulling a broom from somewhere “It’s nothing we’ll miss”  

And it’s moments like this one that make Four feel a little weird. Because Mom _loved_ that jar. He’s sure. Once he heard her tell Seven that the flowers reminded her of the open fields in her paintings, and there’s nothing Mom enjoys more than staring and staring at her paintings. So why isn’t she mad? Four doesn’t like to think about the fact that she’s a- that she isn’t like them.

“What were you doing, children?” Mom asks, while swiping the pieces of glass away.  

“They were fighting over my magazine” Three explains, and takes it from Four’s hands. It’s all crumpled now, shit, he’s going to have to make it up to her.

“And what’s so important about this magazine?”  

None of them answer. And Four can’t blame them, really. They were disobeying, Dad had clearly said no and they were disobeying, that usually ends up badly for everyone. But- Four still kind of wants a name, even if Two and Six are going to be weird about it. “It has out new names” Four says slowly, because even if Mom doesn’t like the idea, she’ll never be half as scary as Dad.  

“Your new names?” Mom repeats.  

“Yeah, uh, I wanted to-”

“You were choosing names from a magazine?” Mom puts the broom away and looks at him curiously. “That’s no way to choose a name”  

“We weren’t choosing” Six says “Four has a list of names and he wants me to be _Leslie_ ”  

Mom smiles. “And you don’t like it, dear?”

Six shakes his head. Four huffs, he never said he _wanted_ Six to be Leslie, he just wanted names, any names. “I don’t like mine either,” Two says, scrunching up his nose “It’s Jason. I don’t feel like a Jason”

Mom hums. “And the rest of you, children?”  

“I don’t mind Amelia” Three says. “But I don’t know if it’s perfect” and Four just knows she’s already making up a whole scenario- _and the oscar goes to: Amelia Hargreeves!_  

“Yeah, me too. I don’t know how I feel about Reese,” Seven says, and then whispers “it’s like the chocolate” One nods along while she says it, he doesn’t like his name either!

“Well, _I_ love my new name!” Four says, even though he doesn’t. He doesn’t _hate_ it, it’s just that- it doesn’t feel like it’s his. He sighs. “But it could be better”

Mom smiles, considering, and then sits by the table. She takes Dad’s chair. “Well, I guess we’ll have to find names that you _do_ like”  

 

☂☂☂

 

Later, Four stops by Three’s room.  

“Hey, _Allison_ ”  

Three grabs his wrist and pulls him into the room. “Hello, _Klaus_ ”  

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @myeyesarenotblue


End file.
